Set in my ways

Juice (my fluffy orange cat) spent the night outside last night. When I let my sons dog out this morning to poop she came back and was watching something by the house, but she wasn’t alerting to an intruder. She put her head low and slowly approached the object of her interest. I figured she saw the ground hog and wondered why he would be out in the cold (it’s in the teens right now). She just watched the area by the house and about that time he walked around the corner twice the size as normal puffed up with hair and stopped in front of the house. He let me pet him and took the opportunity to go in when I held the door open. Of course, miss Lola Lou was quite pleased with herself for finding one of her feline companions displaced where he should not be. She’s been supervising him since she came in. He’s none the worse for wear, thank God. I would be quite heartbroken if he had suffered any ill effects (coyotes for example). He had some breakfast and is now settled on the back of the sofa. Missy Lou is doing her rounds and checking on his welfare. He had a dusting of dirt on his hair, I believe he may have crawled under the porch for shelter (smart cat) where the ground hog goes under. He chose to go outside. He chose a place to sleep. And he chose, gratefully to come back in the house peacefully this morning.

One thing I have learned (fully and completely comprehended) is we ALWAYS have a choice. We may not be able to choose our circumstances but we can always choose our attitudes and reactions to it. I work in a call center helping people with their money. Most people are pretty easy to get along with, I have something they need and for the most part they are polite and friendly. We also interact with people who are facing hardship and in many cases the consequences of poor decision making. They call because they are desperate. They believe they are desperate because life is not fair, the landlord is going to put me out, my [spouse, kid, parent, etc.] didn’t act right… blah blah blah. “I’m pathetic”, “somebody owes me a [fill in the blank]”. The truth is, they are in that predicament because they chose poorly. They overspent, partied on or failed to thrive by declining an education, expected the Cinderella story or just flat out refused to acknowledge their role in how they got there. Life is a series of lessons. If you aren’t open to what a situation is trying to teach you, it’s very likely that you will face it again, and again, and again until you learn (once more round the desert, Moses).

The point of my wanderings is that there are a number of rules or conclusions I’ve reached in nearly 50 years of living arising from my many trips around the desert.

  • You always have a choice. You are never stuck in your job, with your spouse, with bad children, mean friends. You have the ability to choose something else.
  • This moment – this single exact point in time – is the only one I am privileged to live. Live it. This is the only one you have, yet so many people waste it in insanity (doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result). If you are unhappy – do something about it.
  • Sometimes the only solution is to endure. Put on your big girl panties, hike up your tits, weep, wring your hands, pray (a lot), do whatever you have to do to get to the next phase. These times will set up you to more fully appreciate the last comment (more on this soon).
  • Every day, be thankful for the lessons you’ve received and digested which allow you to reach for the next one.
  • Love the ones you love. I want to finish life knowing that my son, my friends and my family know fully exactly how much I love them and am thankful that they are in my life. I will not be able to rest unless my child knows that he was the best thing that ever happened to me in this world.

That leads me into my next post “A Letter to My Legal Father”. There are a number of things I want him to know. I doubt that it will change his perspective. I am not judging him or his choices. I forgave him a long time ago. Tudaloo for now.

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