Weather Vanes

Father, thank you for cloudy days. I slept until 9am this morning, straight through with my snuggle bug Peanut who is the best bedroom cat in the house. She cuddles up on her pillow, close enough to touch but not on my head, kanoodles the pillow and purrs for about 10-20 minutes to put me to sleep and doesn’t move all night once she’s settled. Her warm little body reminding me of other creatures in the world, her warmth and soft fur comforting when I move or reach out to pet her. Even if I get up during the night, she stays right where she landed and snuggles back in when I come back.

Yesterday I wasn’t sure if I would be well to go to work and let my boss know that I was officially sick – fever, chills sweats and heart palpitations as well as being emotional. Waking up to a cloudy day is so incredibly tempting to call in on it. I’m not feeling froggy, but I’m not all out sick either. Just burned out. The hours at work and more so the boredom of answering the same calls time after time, being tethered to a telephone, listening for the temperature of the person calling in…friendly, pissed off, happy, language barriers, expectations from me. I am proud of the work I do. We need qualified people to help people with their money, to encourage them in their retirement savings, to educate about finances and my favorite telling someone for the first time that they have ever heard it “you can build wealth and be a millionaire when you retire if you just keep doing what you are doing”. That is very satisfying to me to talk to someone making 30,000 a year and putting $10 or $15 a paycheck away that they could have ½ or a million dollars to retire on and how at retirement they can then live off of the surplus and leave their children and inheritance – something that wasn’t done for me or for them.

I digress. 50 to 55 hours a week mostly for the last year and a half (except February vacation) is just catching up to me. I am capable of doing it, I just don’t want to. It’s a matter of replacing that income with something that I love. Others will step into my place to take the calls, it isn’t my responsibility. It’s a job.

The ponies are outside picking through the remains of the hay bales that they happily scattered all over the ground. The three of them Callie, Autumn and Champ have stopped hovering for a bit and are turning as a unit to face away from the wind in slow rotations (like weather vanes). I’ll open up the shelter for them in a few minutes here but they probably won’t use it anyway, they prefer to be out in the elements or maybe more accurately they prefer to not be locked up in a box. Autumn must see what is around her to relax.

Inside the house we are having kitty wars. The female unit of the pack has decided they hate the new boy and put him in a corner and growl at him at every opportunity. He may be instigating it, but he’s very sneaky. The boy unit of my pack has discovered they can run and pounce on him to make him squeak and he holds his own there so I think its just rough and tumble play since he chases them back and makes chicken rumbles at them. It occurred to me this morning this might be litter box wars since I’ve been lax lately with the hours in keeping the boxes tidy so I’ll be making more effort there and see if it changes the atmosphere. That idea courtesy of “My Cat From Hell” show. In 2 separate episodes changing the cat box number (more) and locations changed the battles in the house. I’ve put him in the studio a couple of times for his safety while I was gone. Monday night when he heard me downstairs he cried pathetically letting me know he really wants oooouuuuuuuttttttttt…. Poor baby. Juice breaks into roomies area for him, then they go in and play on her bed.

how I would love to sit here all afternoon with my thoughts and the thunder. Between calls today I must start pursuing other things. I am making roomie a blanket but didn’t get it done for her birthday today (shhh it’s a secret). I have about 6 more squares to do, then I can lay it out and put them together. I expect to have it done for Saturday morning. We are running a 5k in the AM for Crime Victims, then grounds cleanup at church and I want to spend the afternoon at home working on the elephant. Sunday is church, Sunday afternoon we’re getting 30 bales of hay and probably cleaning up manure. I expect to stay close to home otherwise. Today, I am choosing to report to work.

Its thundering. I love thunder. The way it reminds me that I am but a speck on the earth, an insignificant experience in a massive series of events. That while what I am matters there are powers beyond my control so all encompassing that though I may want to control them, to think we can control life is futile and impossible. That’s the human experience, isn’t it?

God Bless you all

All My Love

I leave you today with this reminder.  Mr. Rogers grandmother said it “remember the 95%”

Amid Boston horror, acts of kindness abound

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